i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We need to rekindle our bromance
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
