Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
