i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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