She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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