but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize