I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
