You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
