You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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