two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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