I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
