ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She needs sedatives and a leash
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
