I want to have your abortion
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
