We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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