my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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