grandma shit on top of the toilet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
