Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
