I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize