This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
