At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
