Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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