yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
