I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this will be a night to untag.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When are your genitals available?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
