sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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