He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
