come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
