that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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