i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
