If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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