Can Purell be used as lube?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
