Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
