giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize