I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
