if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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