Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hippo gnu deer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
