I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
