also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
