god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
