We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
