Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
