garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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