So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I want her autograph on my taint
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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