did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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