I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize