I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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