Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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