People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
