would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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