Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
