There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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