He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just invented taco cereal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
