Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
