whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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