I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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