You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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