I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is the high leading the old right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
