Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
