i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
