I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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